Systemic Family Therapy with Dr Todor Proykov
This website contains a range of self-help materials where I share my experience of working with numerous clients and families.
I also plan to include various resources for fellow family therapists. Please come back and check for new material that will be gradually added to the site.
If you wish to discuss or book an appointment, please be in touch via the contacts provided.
About Dr Todor Proykov
I am an experienced systemic family psychotherapist, clinical psychologist, and clinical supervisor.
I currently work in the area of child and adolescent mental health. I have extensive experience in working with families and individuals with various mental health difficulties.
I have over twenty years of experience in working with high conflict families caught into custody and contact disputes.
I have been involved in teaching family therapy for over six years.
What is Systemic Family Therapy?
Systemic family therapy is a therapeutic approach that views the family as a complex interconnected system where each family member influences and is influenced by the others. Rather than focusing on an individual's issues in isolation, systemic therapy looks at how relationships, communication patterns, and dynamics within the family contribute to emotional and behavioural challenges. The goal is to change the negative interaction patterns and to develop new meaning and understanding in the family.
Systemic family therapy is based on several notions:
- Systems thinking: Families are systems and each family member is a part of the interdependent whole. Changes in one member's behaviour or emotions affect the entire system.
- Family dynamics: Working with recurring communication patterns, coalitions, alliances, and power structures within the family. For example, child's behavioural issue may affect the parents' relationship, which in turn might impact the child's well-being. Identifying and changing these patterns can help to address the underlying reasons for conflicts or mental health difficulties in the family.
- Therapeutic neutrality: The therapist maintains a neutral stance and avoids taking sides or playing the 'expert' by telling the family members what to do. The therapist helps the family explore their issues openly. This approach encourages family members to see their problems from new perspectives, finding new meaning in the family events and try new ways of relating with each other.
The therapy sessions involve the entire family or specific family members, depending on the issues at hand.
Systemic family therapy can be helpful for families dealing with a wide range of challenges, including but not limited to:
- Parent-child conflicts: Addressing issues of communication, power dynamics and empathy between parents and children.
- Couples issues: Helping couples work through issues at different stages of their relationship.
- Mental health disorders: Supporting family members who are impacted by loved one's mental health issues, like depression, anxiety, or addiction. Creating a family environment for mental health recovery.
- Blended families: Assisting families as they navigate the complexities of combining different family systems and histories.
- Chronic illness or loss: Coping with the emotional strain and changes that come with illness or the death of a loved one.
Here is how systemic and family therapy helps things change:
- Improved communication: Families learn healthier communication techniques, reducing misunderstandings and improving trust.
- Enhanced understanding: Family members gain insights into each other's experiences and perspectives, fostering empathy.
- Trying out new ways of relating: Family members try out and learn new and more positive ways of relating to each other.
- Sustainable change: Since the therapy addresses the underlying processes in the family, the change tends to be more sustainable and beneficial over the long term.
Frequently Asked Questions
How many family members need to participate?
This depends on the specific situation. Ideally, all members involved in the issue attend, but therapy can still be effective with just a few members. Even individual sessions can focus on improving family relationships.
How long does family therapy take?
Family therapy is typically short-term, lasting anywhere from 4 to 12 sessions. The duration depends on the family's goals and the complexity of the issues addressed. Family therapy usually takes place fortnightly.
What happens during a family therapy session?
Sessions usually involve discussions about the family's dynamics, exploring conflicts, and practicing new ways of communicating. Activities or role-playing may be used to better understand behaviors and patterns. Everyone is encouraged to express their thoughts and feelings openly.
How does this work with online therapy?
Online family therapy functions similarly to in-person sessions, but it takes place over a secure video platform, ensuring confidentiality and accessibility. Before the session, you'll receive a link to join a video meeting. Each family member can join from their own device or gather together in one location. The therapist guides the session just as they would in person, fostering open communication and addressing family dynamics. Online tools like virtual whiteboards for drawing pictures or shared documents may also be used to enhance the process. Online therapy may be particularly convenient for families who live apart or have busy schedules. It eliminates the need for travel and allows family members to connect from anywhere.
Do all family members have to agree to attend therapy?
It's ideal if everyone agrees to participate, but therapy can start with those who are willing. Often, as progress is made, other family members may decide to join.
Will the therapist take sides?
No, the therapist's role is to remain neutral and help the family understand different perspectives. The therapist aims to create a safe space where everyone feels heard and valued.
Is family therapy confidential?
Yes, family therapy is confidential but there are exceptions, such as if someone is at risk of harm to themselves or others. We discuss confidentiality policy in the first session.
How do we know if family therapy is working?
Progress is often seen when communication improves, conflicts reduce, and family members feel more connected. We will regularly review goals to ensure that therapy is meeting the family's needs.
If you have more questions or are unsure if family therapy is right for you, feel free to contact me for a conversation. Please visit also the website and the resources of the Association for Family Therapy and Systemic Practice(opens in new tab).